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  • Carol Williard

Goethe: "The things that matter most must never be at the mercy of the things that matter least."


In the context of stopping smoking or vaping - which matters most- what are your things that matter least? “I don’t have time”, “I’ll get fat”, “its too hard”, “its too uncomfortable”. Usually those are the reasons which is the resistance we throw up to avoid dealing with the problem. We make them big reasons to prevent ourselves from even trying. In the meantime, nicotine takes its toll, one molecule at a time, in our bodies and being. We become more and more dependent upon it for our comfort. We endow this poison with meaning. We lie to ourselves and with false comfort, “It’s not that bad! I’ll stop at some point...” as our molecules in our lungs and all other organs imperceptibly deteriorate from smoke to smoke, hit by hit.


I once worked with an anesthesiologist to help him stop smoking. He told me when they open up a smoker’s body to operate, they can tell they are a smoker because every organ is grey, every single one! “It’s not that bad?” Really?


“But I’m not ready. Leave me alone until I am ready” That seems to be the bottom line reason that, when looking over one’s lifetime would be the thing that matters least. Yet, we believe it and we are held in place by it. Look, this writer gets it. I am not "holier than thou". I too had been putting off loosing ten pounds for years. I told myself, “Its not that bad.” But that nagging feeling lingered in the back of my mind, and I knew I was not eating the right foods at the right time. Finally, I am back on track and it feels good, in spite of the resistence my mind throws up, “You’ll never be able to have cake again!” And many years ago when I was smoking, I put off stopping until the cost to my health exceeded the relief payoff that smoking brought, and I got pneumonia. There I was, not being able to breath and not being able to stop!


In fact, it usually takes a health crisis of some sort to capture our attention and to break through the resistence of lies we tell ourselves about our smoking or vaping problem. All sorts of people seek my help at that point, both young and old, but none in great health. After all, why would anyone seek help when they are feeling great? People who are feeling great and in good health don’t need to stop because they don’t have the nicotine problem!


My message to them is usually not welcome news but the truth of it resonates. They are nicotine addicts. They have a problem that will not go away by itself. If left untreated, it will only get worse, never better. That is the starting point. Being an addict is what we most struggle with. We don’t want it to be true. We keep looking for a way around it. That is normal. But learning to accept this fact is what matters most. Why? So that the desires to smoke that arise as one goes through the temporary withdrawal process do not leave us at their mercy, so that they don’t end up sabotaging our success.


That is what the Choose a Smokefree Life training is all about. I train clients how to make peace with their addiciton and their process to get free. It is very practical, concrete, smart, and doable. There is no mystery or magic. But if followed, it will produce the lasting miracle of freedom once and for all.

Call me to book a free half-hour session to find out the details. No pressure, no kidding. You deserve to have a smokefree life!

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