Grasping for Shiny Objects?
Updated: Feb 7
When faced with the need to stop smoking, we often grasp for the thing that appears to be the quick fix, the shiny object that promises to take away the “dread” and the “pain.” Usually that is something or someone that promises to deliver you from experiencing withdrawal, and who wants to go through that? Nobody wakes up and says to themselves, “I’d really like to withdraw today!”
So we take the pill, chew the gum, put on the patch, see the hypnotist, take the cheap or free course. And for awhile it seems to be working. “Brilliant!” we say to ourselves, “Why did I wait so long?” For a small percentage of people that can have a lasting, if not permanent effect. My hats are off to them!
But then there is the category where the above methods do not last over time. I can’t tell you how many people have congratulated themselves after thirty days of being “smoke free” only to return again a few weeks later. What happened? I was a perfect example: The nicotine gum I used to get off cigarettes became my new drug of choice. It seemed I needed the gum more frequently to get through the “rough spots.” So I had even more nicotine in my body than when I was smoking, not less. The patch made me edgy and irritable. The hypnotist had no effect. I smoked on the way home from the session.
So what do people like me do, the ones who are quietly hopeless and desperate for a permanent solution? First of all, I have come to know there is nothing out there that is permanent, nothing that will guarantee that I do anything. We change our behavior from the inside out. What appealed to me about the approach I learned, revised, and have been teaching for many years are the fundamental hard facts behind it that I knew to be true. Here are the fundamental concepts to this approach:
Addiction is something that if left untreated, will only get worse, never better.
We box ourselves in with the way we approach the problem by such statements as “I can’t smoke, I have to stop”
Stopping does not involve “magic.” It involves concrete step-by-step actions that produce a “miracle.”
Our problem is not that we have desires to smoke. After all, that is what withdrawal is. The problem is that we do not know how to deal with our desires to smoke other than to run from them.
Addicts are not capable of only taking one puff. We are powerless over nicotine.
Its not the physiological withdrawal that is the issue, it is the psychological dependency that is.
We stop ourselves, just not all by ourselves. Ongoing support is vital.
If someone falls into my category, I urge that person to take the time to check out this approach to see if it can work for them. I offer free, half-hour Zoom or FaceTime sessions with no pressure to “buy”. Trust is essential and this is a huge decision to make that will affect the quality of one’s life in a profoundly, positive way. So it is essential that one trust me, trust the process, and is willing to walk through the feared withdrawal with the right tools and the right motivation. That does not mean they will be miserable or that they must abandon their skepticism. In fact, I urge each person to bring their fear and skepticism to that first session, and keep it as long as they want. But I trust they will be attracted to this smart process like I was. And the proof is in the pudding. It worked for me and for hundreds of others. Just check out my testimonials on this website. I hope to meet some of you on your personal journey!