Fight or Surrender?

With the holidays approaching I recognize that dealing with an addiction is the last thing we want to think about. We all want comfort and joy. But as the new year approaches, if you are addicted to nicotine, it would be prudent to read on:

When was the last time you won a battle with your addiction to nicotine?  It’s a trick question.  There is no winning in doing battle with an addiction. The addiction always wins, always.  There are no exceptions because we are powerless over nicotine. That means that despite all attempts to control it, to make it go away, to reduce its hold – it always comes back, always.

And even worse, unless we recover from it entirely, it will only get worse.  It never gets better by itself, never!

So, you are screwed. Nevertheless, you do have a choice. You may choose to ignore these facts and decline even further into your uncontrollable addiction to nicotine, or you can surrender any notion of being able to control it, choose not to fight it, and allow yourself to recover. That’s it.  Full stop. 

Harsh, isn’t it?  I could sugar coat it, but it’s our lives at stake. 

Let me put it another way. I am going to count to ten and while I do that try not to think about the number 97. Just drive out of your brain the number 97 while I count to ten. Ready? Go!  1 – just don’t think about 97!  97 is a very bad number! Just wipe it out of your thinking.  2 – Now you are not thinking about 97, just make it go away. No, really, do not think about 97!  3 – No more 97!  No more!  There is no more room for the number 97! …

Ok. I think you get the point.  Trying to fight the fact that you will have urges while attempting to stop is like trying to get rid of 97.  It’s a loosing battle.  You can’t win that way.

Now let’s try this: I will again count to 10 and while I do this, I want you to allow yourself to think about the number 97 as much or as little as you want to.  Ready?  Go!  1 – It’s okay to think about the number 97 while I am counting. In fact, just allow that number 97 into your thinking as it wants to be there. It will not kill you to think about 97.  2- You know 97 thinking is part of the plan. It is inevitable that you would be distracted by the number 97 so let it be there.  3 – 97,97, 97, whatever!  It’s all okay.  It is fine to be thinking of 97…

Got it?  Allowing yourself to have urges come and go is part of the process, and if you learn to allow and even welcome and befriend urges as they come and go, you will have no problem releasing them. After all, that is how they go away, through the experiencing them. That is the how and why of urges losing their power over you.

So, what’s it going to be?  Your choice.  It’s up to you.

Call me if you need my help. 512-758-1910.