It has been said that addiction behaviors are connected with feelings of shame, remorse and guilt. ‘Whoa! Hold on a minute! This is just nicotine. It’s not heroine!” Yes, that is true. Nicotine is a legal substance that even our kids are using it daily. And we’re nice, good people. We don’t resort to doing bad things to support a dangerous lifestyle.
But is that completely true? We know that nicotine is a poison. We know it is therefore bad for us. We know that if our persistent intake of nicotine is not arrested, it will continue to do more and more harm to our bodies, our psyches, and our beliefs about ourselves. Isn’t that too connected to feelings of shame, remorse, and guilt?
Oh, but I forgot about that built-in wall of self-protection called Denial that pushes all of that aside with such thoughts as, “It’s not that bad! That’s way down the road. I can stop anytime. I just don’t want to stop!” I get it. Been there, said and done that.
Why do I keep beating this drum? Because there is nowhere else to go for a person hooked than to get free and well. You see, the problem will only get worse until it punctures that wall of Denial and suddenly the addict realizes they can’t control it and they need help. But that crisis is the very beginning of a new life when the person hooked realizes they do not have a casual problem but a life and death problem. Then the key of willingness has a chance to be used as the addict learns to take steps towards a lifetime of freedom that erases the shame of being out of control, the remorse of what they have done to themselves and others who love them, and the guilt of not having heeded the warnings. That life of freedom and wellbeing is waiting for each of us!
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